#11 Walaupun terpaksa...

Perkongsian hari ini :

Bertudunglah walaupun keadaan terpaksa. Solatlah walaupun keadaan terpaksa. Puasalah walau keadaan terpaksa. Kerana kewajiban itu memang kadang kala sifatnya terpaksa.

Dari keterpaksaan itu perlahan-lahan kita akan menemukan hikmah dan pada akhirnya hati pun menjadi ikhlas untuk beribadah kepadaNya. Jika harus menunggu keikhlasan hati lebih dulu untuk beribadah, sampai bila nak menunggu?

Hidayah bukan untuk ditunggu, melainkan dicari.....InsyaALLAH..

Ia ibarat makanan, jika tidak disuap, manakan ia masuk ke mulut..

#10 Its gone.

What am I supposed to do? That feeling's gone. Am I being a bitch for not wanting to wait? Am I wrong for not wanting to be left hanging without any answers? I'm feeling guilty, no doubt about that. But, I'm just tired of all these things. I'm tired of waiting around like a fool when I don't even know if you ever feel the same way. Hmm well, I guess people are gonna call me bunch of names again if I were to leave you. I'm sorry, but we're just not working out. I really wanted to make it work, but we're going nowhere if I'm the only one who cares, who sees and who's been thinking about this

#9 Muslimah itu...

‎"Apakah aku layak bergelar Muslimah?"

Saya kurang faham dengan soalan ini. Konteks yang diberikan membuatkan saya fikir seolah-olah "Muslimah" itu satu level Iman 99 Petala Langit yang hanya golongan sehebat Pendekat Laut sahaja yang boleh capai.

Sedangkan apabila seorang perempuan berpegang teguh dengan Shahadah, maka dia bergelar Muslimah.

Muslimah itu bukan diukur dengan panjang tuduh atau labuh jubahnya. Sama juga dengan lelaki. Dia tidak dipanggil Muslim kerana panjang janggutnya.

Muslimah itu seorang yang berjihad menentang nafsunya hinggalah maut menjemput. Satu perjuangan dalaman yang tiada sesiapa pun yang dapat lihat, dengar, hidu, sentuh, atau rasa. Tetapi perjuangan dalaman itu ada.

Boleh jadi seorang Muslimah itu tidak bertudung, tetapi dia menangis kepada Allah meminta kekuatan untuk menyarung sehelai kain di kepalanya.

Boleh jadi seorang Muslimah itu mempunyai teman lelaki, tetapi setiap sentuhan bukan mahram umpama jilatan api neraka baginya.

Boleh jadi seorang Muslimah itu seorang yang tidak solat, tetapi setiap kali azan berkumandang hatinya merayu kepada badannya untuk berdiri di hadapan Allah.

Muslimah itu seorang perempuan Muslim. Full stop. - Aiman Azlan

Ya Allah, jantung berdegup kencang bila membaca ayat ini. Cukup ringkas tapi bermakna kata kiasan, makna tersirat yang diberikan. Sudah cukupkah amalan aku untuk menuju Firdaus? Sudah cukupkah bekalan aku untuk mengharungi Padang Mahsyar? Sudah cukupkah ibadahku untuk membantuku meniti Titian Sirat? Terasa nafas terhenti seketika, terasa jantung direnggut kilatan cahaya. Hidup ini hanyalah pinjaman, namun adakah aku sudah bersiap siaga memulangkan nyawa ini pada Pemilik mutlak segala-galanya? Tangisan mula memenuhi segenap kalbu.

#8 Boredom

Seriously, I'm dying here. Doing absolutely nothing is killing me. I don't wanna the house chores but what other choice do I have? Hmm please someone, take me out of my shell to somewhere else. Huaarrgghhh =.=

#7 Puisi untukmu

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

 Sunny days is coming to its end,

Gloomy moon is starting to show itself,

How am I supposed to let you go when my sunny days is in your hands?

Trying to find the luminosity of the rainbows,

Alas it’s not always there to be seen,

What am I supposed to do when it turns into dark shadows?

Never love the cloud as I thought it was nothing,

But now it’s crying,

 As a sign that I’m dying,

How am I going to survive if my heart keeps giving in?

So please stay in my hopeless heart,

Right now is the perfect time to love again,

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

P/S: Sorry, tajuk bahasa melayu tapi puisinya bahasa inggeris. Hikhik

#6 Make you feel my love

When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no - one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love
To make you feel my love

It has been a long time since you showed up. I’m starting to think that it’s not worth it anymore. I’m starting to feel that I’ve wasted my time for nothing. I’m no good in this kind of thing but really, I’m trying my best. I’m trying to be a better person. I tried to be there for you but you won’t let me. I tried to understand better but you just couldn’t see it. So tell me, are we done? Cause now, I feel like we’re done. I’m sorry if I’m not good enough for you. I’m sorry if you think I’m difficult to be with. So please understand if one day, I say to you ‘I’m sorry I have to leave you’. 

#5 Its my freedom, peeps!

I think it is well known among my friends that I'm supporting the opposition. Some of my friends don’t care about it, whilst some of them tend to make faces and whatnot when I told them about my political view. Some even tried to influence me to support the government by telling me bad stories about the opposition. Trust me, I don’t buy it. Peeps, it is your constitutional right to vote for whoever you want to, but perhaps you might want to do a lil bit review on who are you going to support. Yes, I would never deny the facts that the government has done some improvement to this country. In fact, none of the oppositions would deny this fact. But let’s emphasize on the word ‘some’. Malaysia is a country that is full with national resources and so on. But why after 55 years of independence, we still can’t beat those so called ‘develop countries’? If you think you have better answer, please do drop some comment at the end of this post. Let’s share some knowledge. But as for now, I simply want to say that it is our government’s fault that we’re still far behind countries such as France, Germany, Japan and China for Asian countries and more. Why did I say so? Our government has underestimated Malaysians, using all kinds of scare tactics to make us feel that there will be chaos should a new government come into power. I’m not stupid. We are not stupid. Unfortunately, many of my friends agree on how the government governs this country and they allowed the government to do what it has without questioning. Why is that? It is because they trusted them and they gave them due respect.  I have always had it in me, but I have been patient for too long. The fight was always there and the government shouldn’t have thought lowly of its people. So if you ask me what my hopes for the new government are, I would say that it should recognize that we are smart and that we should be treated fairly and not be taken for fools who will not fight back.  Yes peeps, I’m being positive. I do believe that a holistic change is possible and yet it is necessary.  Yes, we can change this horrible situation. Make the 13th general election as a platform for us to get rid of corruption in all its forms once and for all. Yes, I’m aware that every party has its own flawless and disadvantages. For sure, the party I support has had its fair share of money politics and shady deals. But these things are the things that we need to change. We need more politicians with integrity now to govern this country. I’m not saying that the opposition can perform a miracle, but once again we can put some positive hopes that they will make the effort to listen to what we want and carry it out with integrity, morality and accountability.  So guys, please make the right decision. We’ve had it for a long time; don’t you guys want positive changes? Don’t simply make a blind statement accusing the opposition and blame them for wanting the best for its people because the current government had their chances over and over again and they failed to improve themselves. But then, if you still want to vote for them, there’s nothing I can do to change your mind. But please, do not insult me just because I’m supporting the opposition. It’s my freedom to choose whoever I think is good to run this country and it’s my decision to give them chances when the government had failed to prove themselves. As for now, I shall exclude myself from debating this topic with my friends as they haven’t seen the truth, yet. 

#4 I miss my friends :(

 Hi guys! Sorry, I was kinda swamp with everything lately. Hehe now to keep my promise, let’s read more about my friends in UiTM Shah Alam. Hmm how can I start this? As I’ve told you before, I’ve gained lots of friends and enemies when I pursued my studies in UiTM . Let’s just forget about my enemies and focus more on my friends.  In this post, I’m gonna tell you about Gang 31. Now, let’s get to know my Gang 31. :3

                                         

Ini Julaiha binti Jamaldin a.k.a Miuju. But most of the time, we called her Taiko. Haha I love her because she’s so funny and cute. I think this is the first time I’ve ever met someone who’s so cynical and yet, so nice. Hmm she likes to flirt but she’s very shy with the guys. Tapi dia suka troll orang dan suka cover line bila salah cakap or else. Dan dia suka buat lawak gila. Kelakar kan? Haha

                                          

Ini Shafiqah Ainaa binti Sabarudin a.k.a budak kecik. Why we called her like that? Cause she eats a lot and she never puts on weight. Sangat jeles okay?! Haha I love her because she’s so sweet and one thing about her, she can never get mad at people for too long. And she’s so pretty! Sebab tu jadi budak hotstuff dekat faculty. Hewhewhew :3 Tapi dia juga suka buli orang dengan ambil gambar masa orang tengah tidur.  I was one of her victims actually. =.=

                                      

Ini Tasneem binti Zaini a.k.a Naneem. I love her because she’s so sweet and she knows how to keep secrets. Jadi lagi rapat menjelang semester kedua. I love to tease her cause she won’t fight back. Paling banyak pun, dia merengek dan jeling je. Hewhew she’s with one of my other Brotherhood Gang now with the help of Ainaa. Hehe  my hope is that both of them will be together till jannah, aamiin. Kalau nak belasah azlan, ajak itew tau! :D

                                                

Ini namanya Dina HazelBella binti Dillah. Sedap kan nama dia. We called her ayahanda as she was supposed to be miuju’s assistant. She’s so pretty and so nice. Some of her good qualities are dia jarang sangat marah-marah dan dia sangat rajin. Bella ni banyak peminat dekat faculty tapi dia tak layan. I’ve once matched her with one of my guy best friend but it didn’t work out. Hmm I was sad though but it’s her choice anyway kan? Hopefully, she’ll find someone who’s gonna treasure her and love her sincerely.

                                 

Ini Azura Mansor a.k.a Taiko Thai. Her dream was to replace Miuju as the leader of the gang. Haha :p She’s a smart girl and so kind. I always shared my problems with her. Azura ni manja orang and independent at the same time. I love and adore her cause she’s so mature and we can always count on her. Can’t wait to see you soon, baby!

                                   

Ini namanya Adibah Shahirah Binti Idris a.k.a Dib. For me, she’s quite unique. She speaks things out of her mind and she always stands for her belief. Some people might say that she’s arrogant but the truth is she’s not. I’m quite impressed with her cause she knows how to speak in Tamil. She even taught us on how to say ‘I love you’ in that language. And one more thing, muka dia curve V macam artis! Jeles jugalah. Hewhew

                               

Ini namanya Diyana binti Abd Ghani a.k.a Didi. She’s from Kelantan so most of the time we called her Mek. I love her cause she’s so funny and spontaneous. She has the knack to flirt with people no matter where she is. Haha she has a very sweet face which I think is the reason why people feel comfortable whenever she’s around. Didi ni baik sangat dan dia selalu tolong orang in whatever situations. I owed you, big time. Thanks for everything didi! :’) 

To be honest, I have one more person that belongs to this group but I don’t feel comfortable to post something about her as she already created this big gap between both of us. So yeah, these are the people I cherished and adored in UiTM and always will be. I’m sorry if I’ve ever make you guys feel unimportant, if I ever put you guys aside and for everything. Trust me, I think about all of you all the time or wherever I go. Thanks for the memories and for everything. 31 forever in my heart. <3

#3 Backstabber!

Pernah tak kena back stab? Aku pernah kena. I’ve been there, done that, but hey, it was a very long time ago and I'm not proud of it. It all happened when I was in form two so I guess the immature me was kinda jackass. But now, I'm trying, trying so hard to be a good friend where everyone can count on me and so on. I tried my best to be there for my friends, no matter how close or not close they are to me, I tried. Cause I know that at the end of the day, they too are gonna be there for me. But hey, this post is not about our good friends and so on so forth. This post is about those who back stabbed us; in one way or more that sometimes they are the reason we find it to be so hard to trust other people. Let me tell you one story about one of my best friends. For the sake of the story, let’s call him Baka. Hehe sounds intriguing, huh? Well, let’s begin the story. We were in the same university and well, I’m kinda amiable so I managed to get many great friends here in UitM. So we were being friends as we have lots of common friends. I don’t quite remember how we became so close but then, we were so close with each other that sometimes people were thinking that we were in love with each other. Hmm we were so close with each other that Baka told me all his secrets. Well, most of it I think. He looks sweet and cute and innocent but only Allah knows, how he’s been such a jackass to everyone. Seriously, it’s like he’s wearing a mask y’know? When he’s with other people, he only says good things but when he’s with me, I swore it’s like he’s trying so hard to curse them, to make them look bad and whatever. I know it was wrong for me to just stood there and listen to him rambling about how stupid or annoying people are around him but I don’t know. I just listened to his stories without giving any argument. Yes, I did feel bad untuk semua orang yang kena kutuk dengan dia. But I just didn’t have the heart to scold him or to get mad at him. Hmm I am pathetic, sorry guys. Until, I was close with this one cute guy. Hekhek *gedik kejap* Okay, we both were close with that guy so kitorang pun makin rapat. And I always helped him whenever he got into problems with his girlfriend. So we kinda tolong each other kot, I helped him and he helped me. At this time, sebenarnya dah rasa annoying gila dengan dia sebab he kinda changed, not only with me, with everybody else. People started asking me whether I know what was wrong with him. I just nodded and told them I know nothing. Padahal time ni, he fought with her girlfriend a lot and he always told me how he wanted to end his relationship with the girl but he worried the girl akan frust menonggeng kalau dia minta break. Seriously bro, whatever -_-  Then, I’m getting close to that cute guy and he started to make stupid annoying jokes about me and that guy. We did fight about it once as I asked him not to be so cynical just because his relationship did not work out as he planned.  Tapi macam biasa, he texted me and said he was just being funny and minta maaf and blahblahblah. So dengan tak fikir panjang, I accepted him back and kitorang jadi best friend balik. Sampai habis exam weeks, we were still in a good term. In fact, I cried when I was on my way to go back home sebab asasi habis kan and the thoughts of not seeing my friends, that cute guy and him. Well, he was my good friend. Or I thought so. He still contacted me even after few days of being home, which was a normal thing as I keep in touch with my friends, well most of it. Then one day, he IM-ed me and told me that he didn’t like that cute guy who I was getting close with cause he thinks that guy kinda have crush on him. WHAT?! Can you imagine that? One of my best friends told me his most disgusting and dirtiest story. At first when I heard that story, all I could think of was sampai hati dia buat cerita pasal orang yang banyak tolong dia, anggap dia macam abang kandung sendiri? Heartless kan dia? I cried, really. Time tu baru rasa betapa bodohnya diri ni for defending him when there’s some people who came to me and asked me to be careful with him. Yes, I admit that. I was so stupid that I couldn’t see what the hell he is trying to do. But again, it was good for me. At least, I’m no longer wearing some blindfold that keeps me from seeing the truth. So yeah, after that, I made decision to ditch him and just ignore his stupid story. Well guys, he told me that he himself pun tak pasti sangat whether it’s true or not, but he thinks it’s true. Fitnah tu sememangnya berlegar-legar je sekitar kita kan? That guy is so nice and dia kena tuduh for things he doesn’t even do. I was so sad cause I thought I picked the right person to share all my secrets and stories, but really, he’s a jerk. For the first time, I changed my mind about guys. Not only girls can fake stories and make other people looks guilty, guys too can do it without even you knowing.  Right now, things has been more complicated and I don’t even know what can I do to change it. It’s hard people, especially when someone you trust so much broke it. :( It hurts me so much, not just because he cheated on me by making fake stories about the guy I really like, he also acts like nothing has happened and he never apologize to people who he’s been hurting.  Life goes on, to be fair. But thanks to him, I learnt an important lesson. Never trust people so easily especially the ones who look like a cute innocent person.  So be careful, who knows you might be the next victim? *kening double jerks* :P
p/s: I'm still working on the post about my friends. Err its a very long post so it's gonna take time for me to finish it. *dasar lembab* -____-'' Never mind, just wait for it, okay? See ya later alligator! 

#2 Friends

This is typical, human. We all need friends to keep us company. I have lots of old and new friends. As for now, my foundation program has ended and I have to endure being all alone in my house. Well, I'm not exactly alone. My brothers are here too, but too bad, they are no like my twin. A big sigh there. Hmm I miss my best schoolmate friends, and my best UiTM friends. I just love them. They complete me and they bring me joy and happiness. Aku bersyukur sangat dipertemukan dengan sahabat yang baik, memahami, dan yang mampu mengingatkan aku pada Allah tatkala aku terleka. I have gang 31, my two great roommies (I have another roommate but three of us just won’t get along with her), brotherhood gang, my classmates and some other friends. They’re so amazing that sometimes I wish I don’t have to have new friends. They are so kind, so enthusiastic, so genius and full with stupid jokes. Haha sometimes I laughed so hard that they thought I was being possessed. Haha diorang yang sewel kata aku sewel xD  Haaaaa, I miss those sweet moments. I just wish that somehow, one day we all get to see each other and maybe we will go grab some food and have very long conversations. Yelah dah lama tak jumpa mesti nak borak lama-lama kan? Hewhewhew huh, I’ve got an idea. How about I post some photos of my friends and I’ll describe each one of them from my own view? Hihi this is one of the interesting ideas to kill some time! So yeah, lets continue this post later with more words and pictures. Heee see ya later alligator!

#1 Its me!

Hey peeps! Finally, I created my own blog. Haha I've been thinking for a long time to have one as I need some place to express my feelings and thoughts. I do have Twitter and Facebook accounts, but I think its not enough. Hmm I think I'm gonna spend more quality time to myself when I started this blog. Miehehehe maybe no one's gonna read this blog but its okay. As long as I have place to say anything I want. That's all for now. I guess. Hihi byeee! :D